“Even though I love this crazy life. Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride ..”
I grew up in foster care. I bounced around from group home to group home. I lived in my first group home when I was 11, left my final group home at 16. My first forever family came into my life at 13. I loved them with everything my heart could share. Due to world changing events (September 11, 2001), the family changed their mind. It was a rough transition from having a family to living in a detention center (because that was the only bed they had for me), and bouncing in and out of groups homes.
Growing up the way that I did, I thought I was broken..that something was wrong with me. I didn’t always have someone in my corner cheering me on. I always wondered what it would be like to have someone love and care about me. Someone who could see the good in me when the world told me that I was worth the air in my lungs. Thankfully, Heavenly Father was looking out for me, and blessed me with amazing guardian angels. These individuals looked our for me. They took me in when I had no where else to turn.
It wasn’t until I moved to Arizona that I learned to start loving myself. If I could tell my 13 year old self any thing it would be:
Hello beautiful!! I just want to let you know that things do get better. You will find out that the more you give of yourself the less you get back. I want you to know that it’s okay…Give anyway! There will be amazing people who will see the wounded little girl that you try so hard to hide. Don’t push them away, let them love her…let them love you! It’s okay to love them!! Love as much and as hard as your heart will allow…TRUST ME, there’s enough room. As difficult as this may seem, love anyway!!.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. There’s more to life than what’s inside those four walls that surround you. I want you to know that it’s okay to be happy, in fact you deserve to be happy! You will find the family you’re looking for. They aren’t conventional by any means, but they do love you!!
You got this!!
I hope that those of you reading this love who you are. Everything about yourself!!! The freckle behind your ear. The mole on your left shoulder. The scar on your right leg. Your laughter. Your crooked smile. Love whatever it is that makes you! Celebrate you!!!