Learning to love again…

“The past is like using your rearview mirror in the car, it’s good to glance at to see how far you’ve come, but if you stare too long you’ll miss what’s in front of you.”

The first time I shared my story it was liberating. The next time I shared it I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I wanted to rewind the last few hours and keep that little girl hidden. The adult I’ve become is constantly at war with the little girl I keep inside. I feel the need to protect her, and in order to do that, I need to be guarded. I need to build walls, to make sure no one can get in..to make sure no one can hurt us.. can hurt me.

Recently, I’ve learned that it’s okay to let that little girl out. To love her means taking down the walls. The same walls I built for protection are now keeping me from seeing my full potential. Those walls are keeping me from love. From loving myself and letting others love me. Read More »

Refuge in the storm

I’ll fight with you no matter how hard the battle is.. 

We spend so much time running from who we are meant to be. We forget to see the good we can do because we are so afraid of shaking things up. I’ve always been different. I’ve always stood out from the crowd. No matter how hard I try to blend in and stay in the shadows, God pushes me to the front.

childofgod-refuge

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Dear Younger Me..

“Even though I love this crazy life. Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride ..”
lovemyself
I grew up in foster care. I bounced around from group home to group home. I lived in my first group home when I was 11, left my final group home at 16. My first forever family came into my life at 13. I loved them with everything my heart could share. Due to world changing events (September 11, 2001), the family changed their mind.  It was a rough transition from having a family to living in a detention center (because that was the only bed they had for me), and bouncing in and out of groups homes.

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Working to be kind..

you

This year my goal is to be better.  Not just for those around me, but I want to be better for myself. 2016 taught me to focus on what brings me joy. I’ve learned that Heavenly Father brings people into our lives for a reason. Some for a short period of time, others for a life time. While 2016 did have it’s challenges, it was also filled with blessings. I’ve been blessed to have amazing people in my life who love me.  Because of their love and support I’m able to make it through the hard days. Heavenly Father has shown me that I am not alone, nor need I never feel alone. He has been the one constant person that I can rely on.  He has put people in my life who have shown me even when I run away from Him he is waiting for me to come back.

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